I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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