guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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