she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
