How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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