just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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