just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
