The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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