Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
only if we run a train.
done.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
