the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
