i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
