You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
