Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
