And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
