hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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