i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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