Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
