We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
