Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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