garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
