Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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