Dual....:-)
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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