I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
not ubering you a puppy
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
