I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
