We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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