So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
