i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
