Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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