Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
