After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have fence marks all over my body
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
