I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
ttyl tear gas
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
