Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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