You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
