You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
