I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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