I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
