Got a toothbrush?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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