Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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