forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
