So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
