We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
