sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
