Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This is my gift to your gina
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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