I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
