it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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