I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
