what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
