the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
so much tequila, so little girl.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
