community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
FUCK WHALES
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
