you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
