if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
