Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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