I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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